THIS ISSUE MAGIC NUMBER THREE SOMETIME IN SEPT 89

BIG BOY IS BACK <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<

CURIOUS GEORGE WAS A CURIOUS BOY. HE WANTED TO SEE WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN IF HE LICKED A HUNDRED STAMPS AND STUCK THEM ON HIS
FOREHEAD. WELL HE DID JUST THAT, AND ALL WAS FINE UNTIL ONE DAY
HE WAS WALKING BY A MAIL BOX AND AN OVER EXCITED TOOLBOX HERO
PICKED UP GEORGE AND STUFFED HIM IN THE MAILBOX.

GEORGE STARTED TO SCREAM FOR HELP WHEN THE LOCAL NEIGHBOR- HOOD HIPPIE CAME BY AND THREW AN EMPTY BEER CAN INTO THE SLOT AS AN ACT OF REBELLION AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT. WELL AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT THE CAN GOT STUCK IN GEORGES MOUTH SO HE COULD NOT MAKE AN EFFORT TO SCREAM, ALTHOUGH HE COULD STILL BREATHE ALLRIGHT, THANKS TO A DO-IT-YOURSELF LASANGA OPERATION ON HIS NASAL PASSAGES THAT HE HAD SEEN ADVERTISED IN THE PAGES OF LEAF COLLECTORS WEEKLY THAT SAID "YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL NEED THIS WONDERFUL DEVICE". WELL ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER THAN THE SCHEDULED MAIL PICK-UP TIME, THE PUNCTUAL MAIL CARRIER CAME BY TO EMPTY THE CONTENTS OF THE BULGEING BLUE BOX. AS HE LIFTED GEORGE OUT OF THE MAILBOX AND INTO HIS CANVAS SACK HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF "THESE COLLEGE KIDS REALLY SEND WEIRD MAIL". UNFOR- TUNATELY, WITH THE BEER CAN STUCK IN HIS MOUTH, GEORGE COULD NOT EXPLAIN THAT HE WASN'T A PARCEL BUT THE VICTIM OF A TERRIBLE CIRCUM- STANCE. WELL BAD LUCK COMES IN FOURS, AND THIS WAS THE DAY GEORGE WORE HIS FAVORITE MICHAEL JACKSON T-SHIRT, SO WHEN HE GOT TO THE POST OFFICE THEY PUT HIM IN THE BIN MARKED "MICHAEL JACKSON FAN MAIL". BUT AS EVERYBODY

KNOWS THE INEFFICIENCIES OF RUNNING A MAIL SYSTEM WITH A COMPUTER 10 BILLION TIMES THE SIZE OF PAC-MAN, GEORGE WAS SENT TO THE PTL CLUB IN A BIN MARKED "TAMMY FAYE'S MAIL". CRUNCHED AMONG THE FREE SAMPLES FROM REVLON AND CLAIROL, GEORGE WAITED TO SEE WHAT HIS FATE WOULD BE. AS BAD LUCK COMES IN FOURS AND GEORGE HAD ALREADY USED UP TWO COUPONS, THIS WAS THE TIME FOR THE NEXT EPISODE. WHEN THE GRAND MARSHALL OF THE HOTLINE TO GOD OPENED THE MAIL WHILE TAMMY WAS GETTING PAINTED, HE JUST STOOD THERE IN SHOCK. HERE WAS A PERFECTLY NORMAL, TOUSELED HAIR YOUNG MAN,WITH AN ALL AMERICAN FACE THAT ANY MIDDLE AGED, SEMI RICH, GOD FEARING, MIDWEST ADULTS WOULD LOVE TO SEE BEAMING FROM THE TUBE ON SUNDAY MORNING. "MY BOY", SAID THE GRAND MARSHALL, "YOU'RE JUST WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR". HE YANKED THE BEER CAN OUT OF HIS MOUTH. "THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM SON, DON'T YOU WORRY, I'LL GET YOU ANYTHING YOU NEED". HE SPOKE SO FAST AND FLUENT THAT GEORGE'S HEAD WAS BEGINNING TO SPIN AS HE WAS LEAD DOWN THE HALL TO THE MARY MAGDELYN MAKE UP CENTER. WITH MOST OF HIS BLEMISHES COVERED UP WITH DURABOND LATEX No 5, HE WAS

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