MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BLIZZARD CAPITOL OF THE WORLD! I am sitting here coughing up mucus and thinking that we need a new THIS Megazine. So here goes another attempt at madness or something like that. I get phone calls all the time. I answer the phone, and the gooseberry hangs up. It is quite disturbing. I also get phone calls from every missing-bird-dieing-on- a-dirt-pile-save-us-not-yourself who says, "Have you heard my dog?", which brings me to wonder to myself, "If you say something that some other twiny-twinkie that you don't know said, can they sue you for saying it?" Who is to say that any of them wear my size roast beef or tripe anyway? Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that bluebirds want to help other swallows, but I don't see anyone helping to reduce the rate of sueage toward the normal- egg-white-cake-working-our-suntans-off-just-t o-get-laid. I would like to take a tea and biscuit break sometime too and just sit on my birdhouse while quails give me worms to suck on. I think we should all take tums. And if anyone out there is taking me seriously, please go see a psychiatrist. For all you lucky ones who actually receive THIS issue, you either responded to our pleas from the last issue, or we found huge sympathy in our hearts to send THIS to you. Consider yourself lucky. Every year thousands are disrupted from our list because they failed to fart. We know that every one that receives THIS does fart regularly. And if you don't, then you better start. It is good for you. Now sit back and read THIS from cover to cover. You never know when the fun might stop and all you will be left with is a sack of poo. GO ON!

FEVERISH SPINELY SHINCTER IN MY MIND SPEWS Date Rape, Gay Bash The Color of our shirts I.R.A., the P.L.O. The color of our souls: how many dollars does it take to start a war New Waves New Age, Anothers New World Order Put em down there all around creating all this disorder this one that on: We All have one A symbol of our discontent Cool stuff Rules the day. John Colgan 04457-003 I was born in the summer of love to a world created by the powers above they gave me the future but not the key bound me up in chains and set me free I was educated in the finest schools There they taught me that money rules Its not what you do but how much you make lie and cheat, deceive and take they gave me a world full of violence and hate and told me to wait for my nuclear fate I can't sit back an' let 'em fuck with my life life ifs for living not for strife I'm not complacent an' I can't sit still cause if we don't change things nobody will Now its your turn to open your eyes see past the corruption, and vicious lies this is no game your life is at stake silence now, will be your biggest mistake the time is now, this world must change not to destroy, but to rearrange Lets make this world a better place for every religion, color an' race this is our future, together we're the key Rip off the chains an' set yourself free I was born in the summer of love Micky

DO YOU HAVE A CLUE? #2

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